


Reflections

by angelic_ly



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Blind!Ignis, Spoilers I guess?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-17
Updated: 2017-08-17
Packaged: 2018-12-16 09:02:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11825439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelic_ly/pseuds/angelic_ly
Summary: After the fiasco that was Zegnautus Keep, Ignis reflects on recent and future events on the way back to Caem.





	Reflections

**Author's Note:**

> This was just a bit of brain barf on my part, but it ended up being received well so... posted. Check.
> 
> From my [Tumblr](https://angelic-guardienne.tumblr.com/).

After everything that happened from the moment he left Cape Caem to the moment he returned, Ignis felt like he was drowning. 

He was drowning underneath the grief of the loss of Noctis. He was drowning under the weight of the darkness that was now his world. He was drowning under the expectations of everyone – or maybe it was the lack thereof? Ignis knew that they’d all expected him to drop out after the loss of his sight – hell, they almost  _wanted_  him to. That’s what a man with sense would do, of course. Unfortunately, when it came to his friends and his charge and his  _friends_ , Ignis was willing to disregard his good sense. It was with this reckless abandon that Ignis was determined to re-prove his worth. Even blind, he would be useful. Even blind, he would still travel with his friends – with his family. His sight was gone, but he refused to let his determination and stubbornness follow. Ignis would learn how to function. He didn’t really have much of a choice.

Yes, Ignis was drowning. He was drowning underneath the mask that he put on for everyone else.

* * *

Ignis was the first to admit that he missed you. He refused to let himself think about how he would never see your smiling face again, but he thought about you.

You were one of the reasons he so adamantly refused to let himself become a broken man. He did not want to return to you in a defeated state.  ~~Even if it meant returning with cracks everywhere in him.~~

Ignis wanted to hear your voice. He wanted to  _see_  you, but even that simple request was too much to ask for now. He settled on hearing that melodious voice of yours. He wanted to hear you, but he did not want you to see him. He didn’t want you to see this splintered version of himself. Still, he wanted to hear your voice.

He debated calling you for entirely too long. He knew there would be questions. Ignis knew that you’d be able to pick out the slightest nuance in his voice once a certain topic came up, and then you would know something was wrong.

That was a conversation he wanted to reserve for a safer – no, a quieter time; a time where he could hold you and try to imagine how you looked beside him instead of focusing on the darkness covering his eyes.

* * *

When he was on the boat back to the Cape, back to  _you_ , Ignis was scared.

Nothing – not the daemons, not the empire, not the hordes of MagiTech soldiers – nothing scared him more than the thought of losing you. The only way the notion could sour more would be if you were lost in his absence.

There was relief when he boat came to a stop and he heard your voice. Distant – you were on the pier and not on the boat – distant, but your voice was there.  _You_  were there. Ignis couldn’t have felt more relief in that moment.

Ignis was also incredibly, undeniably,  _embarrassingly_  afraid the very next moment. He didn’t leave the boat even though he longed to be off the seas and on solid land. If he stepped off this boat now, this might be the last time he’d hear your voice. He couldn’t bear the thought.

Of course, you always had a mind of your own. After waiting impatiently for him, you’d stepped onto the boat to drag him off yourself. He heard your approaching footsteps and turned away from the sound, ducking his head. Ignis didn’t want you to see him like this. 

Still, you approached, and you came around to his front. Your breath seemed to catch, and Ignis flinched – something he never did – and he took a step back – something he never did – and he trembled under the weight of your gaze and he handled his walking cane with both hands and he felt nervous shame wash over him –  _all things he never did_. He wanted to turn away from you, but found that he couldn’t. Ignis found himself wishing the boat would open up and drop him into the ocean.

He would have much preferred to be stuck under the weight of the boat and the waves than to be stuck under the weight of your gaze.

Except you – his wondrous, amazing, dear beloved – you placed a gentle hand on the spot just above his elbow and simply said, “Tell me when you’re ready.”


End file.
